Yesterday, I was listening to adrienne maree brown and Autumn Brown's podcast "How to Survive the End of the World" (I'm completely obsessed, by the way, go check it out). In that, Autumn was talking about the "darkest years of her life" and adrienne interjected and said "palest!" It was this small joke in the midst of a beautiful and heart wrenching conversation between two mixed race sisters that got me thinking.
So much of our language and therefore the way we view the world has light and dark as "good" and "bad". "Dark night of the soul," "Shine your light," "Wrestling with your shadows," "Light of Truth," "Healing the shadow," "Lightworker"... the list goes on and on. As we continue to identify the light with all things good, positive, and loving, and the dark with all things bad, negative, and fearful our subconscious minds associate that in other areas. Even our modern decor is white and minimalist, and we view white as clean and pure and black as dirty and polluted. White and light is often associated with being moral, ethical and virtuous, while black and dark is associated with lying, unethical actions, and general shady behavior. With all of this thinking ingrained in our society, it is easy to see how it has bled over into the color of our skin. We see this in the continued way that racism plays out in our country and the world. Light skin is viewed as the ideal, so much so that there is an entire beauty industry dedicated to skin bleaching. Blond hair and blue eyes are the most desirable traits, with billions spent each year to dye our hair, wear colored contacts, and find the color of clothing that most suits making our bodies into the ideal.
So what does all of this have to do with a simple joke about 2 years being the "palest" time in Autumn's life rather than the "darkest"? I'm going to answer that question with a question. Have you ever stepped out into the sun right at midday when it is so bright you can barely see? Of course you have... that is a pretty typical experience. What I have noticed is that even after my eyes have grown accustomed to the light, everything still appears washed out. The colors aren't vibrant, it is hard to judge distance or experience depth. Everything just seems kind of dull and oversaturated with light.
In contrast, when we turn off the light and are plunged into darkness, it can take an extra second for our eyes to adjust, but once they do, there is so much that we can see. It becomes easier to judge distance and see the depth of the world. Every pinprick of light is like a spotlight, and as our eyes adjust further we see a whole world of color.
We tend to think that we always want to live in the light, be the light, shine the light... but if we actually lived in a world of all light, it would be pretty one dimensional and boring. We would miss out on the vibrant colors, the depth, distance, and experience of contrast. It is this contrast that makes life interesting, fun, and beautiful, even when it is hard. It is the darkness that gives light meaning, and it is necessary and amazing in its own unique way. What if we shifted our thinking from light and dark as good and bad and instead saw them as two equal, beautiful, and necessary aspects of this human experience we call life?
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